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Did you know as many as one in five [1] children and young people are carers and an estimated one in seven [2] of the workforce in the UK juggle caring responsibilities with work?
Lexi, Software Engineering Apprentice, reflects on her experience of being a young carer with our UK Parents and Carers Network and shares how she maintains her wellbeing amongst the demands of work and home life.
Lexi: I was just five years old when I first had to wake myself up for school. Normally, my mum would be the one to gently rouse me from my sleep, but that morning was different. My sister and I, thinking our mum had simply overslept, bounded into her room only to find her struggling to keep her composure. "Mummy's legs don't work today," she told us. She had lost all feeling and movement in her lower body.
My mum was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) when she was just 22. These 'attacks', as they're called, can often leave a person unable to move or feel their limbs.
Although I knew my situation wasn’t ‘normal’, I didn’t realise I was a young carer until I was 14. All my friends had parents that would take them out, cook for them and do general parent stuff. Whereas I was doing the food shop with my mum because she couldn’t make the walk unassisted, attending my own parents’ evenings and taking my mum to doctors’ appointments.
One day, an amazing teacher saw what I was going through and covertly slid a young carers leaflet onto my desk. Hearing that there was a name for what I was doing and more importantly, other people going through the same thing, felt like a huge relief.
Fast forward to 2021, nearly 20 years later, my mum was diagnosed with Dementia. One moment she might be confused, angry or upset, the next she'd be laughing, having forgotten what had upset her. The diagnosis was devastating. It felt like I had lost my mum, or at least the version of her I had grown up with.
Being a young carer has been a significant part of my life, shaping who I am today and equipping me with valuable skills. While it hasn't always been easy, I have come to appreciate the lessons and experiences that being a carer has provided me with.
One of the most important things I have learned is resilience. Caring for a loved one at a young age requires strength and perseverance. It has taught me how to adapt to challenging situations, problem-solve and remain composed under pressure. These skills have proven invaluable in various aspects of my life, both personally and professionally.
However, I really couldn't have done it alone. I’m grateful for the support and guidance I received from young carers support groups, which I still use today. They provide a safe space to share my experiences, learn from others, and gain a sense of belonging. They help me harness my caregiving skills and extend the emotional support I need during difficult times.
I still find myself balancing the responsibilities of caring for my mum and pursuing my own life goals or just trying to enjoy my youth. It can be challenging to find the right balance and not feel guilty about taking time for myself or pursuing opportunities.
To find this balance, I have learned to prioritise and set boundaries. It is crucial to communicate openly with my loved ones about my needs and limitations. This allows me to create a support system where others can step in when I need a break. Additionally, I have learned to identify and seize opportunities that align with my goals and passions, while still ensuring that my caregiving responsibilities are met.
Guilt is a natural emotion that many carers experience, it’s something I still deal with daily. It is important to acknowledge these feelings and find healthy ways to cope with them. Seeking support from friends, family, or professional counsellors can be beneficial in navigating these complex emotions.
If you care for someone, or know someone who is, please ask for help whether it’s from Schroders, your family and friends or a support group. Nobody has to go through this alone and you can only care for someone else if you care for yourself first.
Schroders UK Parents and Carers Network
Our Parents and Carers Network is one of 14 Employee Resource Groups at Schroders which aim to drive change across the business and create spaces for our people to network with colleagues who are passionate about inclusion. All groups are open to everyone, including allies and supporters.
The UK Parents and Carers Network is a safe space which encourages everyone to share their experiences and lessons they’ve learnt while balancing their careers and family life.
Find out more about how we’re embedding inclusion into everything we do.
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